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Catching a Cheating Spouse Checking Up on Internet Infidelity: Web Browsers Checking Up on Internet Infidelity: Instant Messengers Confronting Your Unfaithful Spouse Dealing with a Cheating Wife Fair Fighting Gifts - Is He Cheating Hiring a Private Investigator to Catch Your Cheating Spouse How to Catch a Cheating Spouse, Part One How to Catch a Cheating Spouse, Part Two How to Catch an Online Cheater using Internet Surveillance How to Evaluate the Truth from Lies How to Get Your Spouse Back If You Have Been Unfaithful How to Hire a Private Detective to Spy on Your Spouse How to Re-Establish a Connection with Your Partner after Separation How to Seduce your Spouse with the New You Indications of Infidelity Infidelity - Are They in Love or Just Friends Internet Infidelity Investigation of a Cheating Spouse MAKE Your Spouse Want You Back! Marital Troubles due to Cheating Not-So-Obvious Signs of a Cheating Spouse Relationship Myths Reuniting After Separation Saving a Marriage from Infidelity Should You Set Up a Honey Trap? Signs of a Cheating Spouse Spying 101 - How to Become your Own Private Detective Suspicions of Spousal Infidelity Talking To Your Children About Your Separation Things To Do If You Think Your Spouse is Cheating Tips to Determine If Your Spouse Is Cheating Using a Marital Counselor to Assist You and Your Partner in Reconciliation Ways to Catch a Cheating Husband Ways to Know If Your Spouse is Cheating What to Do When you Suspect Your Spouse of Cheating What to Do If You Suspect Your Spouse in Cheating

Talking To Your Children About Your Separation

If you and your spouse have decided to split, your biggest concern may be your children. Your concern is valid; separation and divorce, while commonplace, is very difficult for the children concerned. The way you communicate with your children during this time can have a significant impact on how they cope with your separation and possible divorce.

Your children are probably not going to be surprised when you talk to them about your separation. They've been living in the home with you; they most likely know that things are not as they should be. However, they will still have some questions, some will voice them and some won't. Here are some things your child will be thinking or asking when you talk to them about your separation:

  • Why are you getting divorced? - Keep your answer simple, but be honest. If you don't give your child a reason for the separation, they are very likely to assume that they caused it. It's very important that you give them a reason and assure them that they had nothing to do with it. Something simple like "Mommy and Daddy argue too much, so we've decided that it's best that we don't live together anymore" is fine. Don't blame the divorce on your spouse, either.
  • Do you still love me? Your child has gone through life with the basic belief that you and your spouse love each other. When they begin to believe that is no longer the case, they may question your love and your spouse's love for them, as well. Reassure them that through both love and actions that you'll always love them, and encourage your spouse to do the same.
  • Are you going to leave me, too? When one spouse moves out, children can begin to wonder if the other parent will leave them as well. Reassure your child that nobody is leaving him, but that Mommy and Daddy can't live together anymore and so one parent has to move out. Let them know that both of you will continue to be his parents and that he now has two homes instead of one.

Expect your child to behave differently in the early days following your separation. They may become clingy or misbehave more often. They will need more attention from you and your spouse in the beginning, while they are adjusting to the new living arrangements. They will miss the spouse that has moved out. Do all you can to facilitate time together for the two of them. Don't use your child as your counselor. Avoid discussion of the details of your divorce, and don't bad mouth your spouse. Be careful when you're talking to someone else about your divorce, as well. Your child may be listening, and shouldn't overhear the details or negative comments, either.

Let your child's teacher know that you're going through a divorce. This information will help them to understand any behavior changes at school and recommend a visit to the guidance counselor or other resources if needed. Follow up with the teacher to find out if school behavior or performance has changed.

Most children come through divorce without major emotional scars if the parents take the proper steps to reassure their children of their unconditional love for them, and if the child is not made to feel like he is placed in the middle of the conflict. Try and work with your spouse, and with a counselor or other professional if needed to ensure that your child receives the attention and help they require to make a smooth transition into their new life.

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