Relationship Myths

If you're in the dating scene and you're finding it difficult to create and maintain a meaningful relationship, you're not alone. Many people have trouble sustaining long term romantic relationships in their lives. One reason this can be so difficult is that we often have unrealistic expectations about what being in a relationship is supposed to mean. Following are some of the common misconceptions that make people walk away from potentially good relationships needlessly.

• You must have lots of shared interests and things in common to have a good relationship with a partner - Granted, you and your partner need to be able to have fun together. But, sharing all the same interests and hobbies is by no means a necessity. In fact, it can be quite boring. You may find that you have far more to talk about if you each pursue your own interests.
• If you're in a great relationship, you'll never argue - Many very happily married couples fight on a regular basis. For some couples, it's a healthy and stimulating way to solve problems. Relationships can grow from the knowledge that each partner can speak his mind without fear of being abandoned. As long as you can fight fair and treat each other with respect, fighting is not necessarily a bad thing. And, just think; when the fight is over, you get to make up.
• Great relationships require that we completely understand each other. If you're looking for a man who completely understands you, or you're looking for a man that you understand completely, prepare to be disappointed. It's simply not realistic to expect men and women to ever completely come to a meeting of the minds. We're just different. Celebrate your differences and use them to provide perspective and enhancement to your relationship. After all, that's the beauty of male/female relationships.
• Before we can have a great relationship, we must solve all our problems. There are many problems in a relationship that can never be solved. As long as you can agree to disagree about some things, you can proceed along quite happily.
• We must be able to sustain our giddy romantic feelings forever. Sure, every relationship needs romance, but we can't expect that initial feeling of giddiness to go on indefinitely. At some point, that early passion you feel will change. But, it doesn't mean you're not in love. If you move on every time the giddiness fades, you'll never be in a long term relationship.
• If I'm in the right relationship, I can say whatever's on my mind. You will always need to take care to protect your partner's feelings. While you should be able to talk about your feelings honestly, you must be still be careful not to say something you might regret later.
• If I'm in the right relationship, it will have nothing to do with sex. While good relationships have many layers, the sexual aspect is very important to long term success. The comfort and intimacy that we receive from the sexual aspect of our relationship is critical to healing the little irritations of life and giving ourselves a break as a couple. Sex is an essential part of any long term romantic relationship.

Finding the right partner for our life is difficult in any case. However, if we place unrealistic expectations on our relationships, we can make the prospect of finding a mate downright impossible. But, if we put relationships in their proper perspective, understanding that we're all flawed human beings, we give ourselves a much better chance of finding the our true love.